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Ahh, the application essay. Why is it so agonizing for students worldwide? Which topic shall be chosen, A or B? Can I impress those admissions staff? Is there such a thing as too personal? I can't recall precisely when I decided to apply to MIT Early Action. It was that dream in the sky that I think I wanted more than other dreams in the sky. And so my college application season began. I always get really nervous at interviews. Like, about to pee his pants impressed that I'd climbed so high on the life ladder. I left more than an hour later feeling like that went pretty well. Then there's the essay. Like a good hopeful applicant, I spent weeks thinking about and working on my essay. Over and over again. Shortly before then, something amazing happened. If I recall correctly, nothing was actually lost. But for the trouble, we were granted a few extra days to submit our applications. I sometimes wonder whether what happened next was a fantastic twist of fate. How much would have changed if the following had not happened? Early Friday evening, I decided I hated my essay. I hated it so much that I considered it broken beyond repair. So, with only a few hours before the deadline maybe the site won't crash again? The next two or three hours were a frantic night of keyboard-banging, friend-proofreading, and increasing panic. Wouldn't it have been safer to submit the overly-edited essay? For those beginning their applications and perhaps working on their essays this very moment, and perhaps for those who were just curious as to what a decent college application essay is like, I share mine with you. You'll learn more about me in the process, which is really what the essay is supposed to do in the first place right? I would pay for SAT II exams, again. Even with fee waivers, applying to college is pricey. Being a senior at Stuy is much, much worse. When my teachers ask whether anyone will have trouble paying for their supplies, no one speaks up and an awkward silence ensues. While academic costs have mostly been waived, high school memories are not priceless. I will not get a class ring. Most of their parents are middle to upper class, working as teachers, lawyers, programmers, doctors, writers, social workers, or scientists, unlike my mother who is excused from work because of illness. Some of my classmates come from private schools, and many buy prep books for exams and have been in expensive SAT prep courses since middle school. Even in a nation governed by socioeconomic class, I believe that happiness and perseverance are enough for success. Although I use second-hand paints and brushes in acrylic painting class, I know that my painting will look just as striking. It Begins with an Idea. Massachusetts Institute of Technology. I'm a quick-walking New Yorker who roots for the New York Yankees. After my teacher at P. Rejects, I feel your pain! The Beginning of the End. Welcome to the Woodshop. You should live in EAsT camPUS. Well done with the essay and thanks for posting it!. Thanks so much for posting such a wonderful entry!!. Thanks for sharing this with us. It really inspired me:. Thank you so much. I'm pretty much going through the same thing you went through. That was a good essay. But I would like to read the one that you rejected, if you don't mind.. You want to be a meteorologist too!! And, wow, your story is amazing.. After reading about your family situation, I can say that you are a truly inspiring young woman. Undoubtedly, your grandmother played an important role in your life. The last two sentences in the essay summarize where you came from and how that has influenced your thinking. Exactly what the admissions office loves to see! You are an inspiration to other young women who are struggling in their home life, in their high school, or in their country. Advice to perspective students - Show the admissions office what makes you tick. Speak honestly in your essay. You are not trying to win an essay contest, you are trying to give the committee a window into who you are. The essay should be a preview to the amazing person who is applying for admission!. Guess need-blind admissions don't really work if applicants can selectively choose to reveal this information. By the way, everyone who's gotten turned down by MIT for financial aid including many from Stuy, who are nowhere as rich as your essay seems to imply hates your guts. By the way, this isn't an "I hate poor people" or "I hate affirmative action" post. This is a "People who get into MIT while bending need-blind rules suck" post.. Omigosh, this is the first time I've decided to read an MIT admission blog and it's authored by a Stuy alum! As you can probably guess I'm from Stuyvesant too. What was the topic suppose to be though?. Although it would be nice to have some more information, I'm guessing that the topic for the year this was written in the one she chose, at least probably had to do with either hardship or adversity. Having to deal with financial difficulties definitely falls into those categories. It also, as we can see above, can make for a great essay, provided that the person can write effectively, which Cristen obviously can. Assuming that she got in simply because her family lacks money seems to be rather hasty. You appear to be following a "Cristen wrote an essay on being poor, Cristen got in, therefore Cristen got in because she is poor" train of thought. You should think things through before making such accusations.. Hm, I myself would like to apologize for that huge block of text right there. I seem to have temporarily forgotten about the enter key.. How's that "bending need-blind rules"? If you've been turned down for aid, I doubt you've ever been in a situation where you didn't know where the money for your next meal would come from, so don't compare your situations. Thanks for the inspiration.. Don't make assumptions about my financial status. If you want, we can do a line-by-line, day-by-day comparison of natural disasters, foreclosures, crimes, diseases, and arrests of family members, and we can see whose life sucks more. I've been there as well. I know what it's like too. But that's not the point.. Describe the process through which you discovered value in the negative. Essay B Describe the world you come from, for example your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?. Cristen, I'm sure you've worked incredibly hard to get to where you are on the "life ladder," as you put it. I'm sure you're going to accomplish truly extraordinary things here and after you graduate. Without assuming anything else, I just don't think the choice of material for your admissions essay was appropriate. I guess what comes to my mind are all those who aren't on welfare or food stamps lucky them who have worked just as hard. By the way, despite my trollish tendencies, I have a heart too. I'm a human being who bleeds the same color blood as the bloggers. I'm an MIT student just like them. Sometimes, I just don't see things the same way they do.. We are still blessed in so many ways: read, write, walk, see, etc. Dont forget where you came from and those who you make em proud. If you dont like it then gather your stupid lil brains and make a difference about it, thats why we are fortunate to have at least some level of education and non the less the talent to succeed where others may have failed.. I don't like this essay because it reads too much like a sob story. Judging from most of the comments which describe it as "inspiring," bringing people to tears, and esp. Applications to MIT aren't supposed to be about where you came from, who you know, what you look like, and who your parents worked for. MIT admissions are theoretically based on merit--which means they are about YOU. It's supposed to be irrelevant what your parents do for a living, whether they are unemployed or not, what race you are, whether your parents are alumni or the coaches think you'd be a good quarterback or rower. The application is supposed to be about the applicant, with enough context to give them a fair appraisal. This essay makes it more difficult to do so by playing on the reader's emotions, presumably hoping that because it's "exactly what the admissions office loves to see" and loves to tell stories about on its website! Don't get me wrong. I'm for class-based affirmative action. It IS relevant that you can't afford special SAT prep sessions and it is likewise relevant you went to Stuyvesant which is one of the best high schools in the world from what I've read. But they already knew what your parents did for a living, they knew where you went to school, they could infer a lot about how you prepared for the SAT from other info on the app. This essay doesn't give any more context. It is as much a story about Mrs. Cleary and bad admissions policies as it is about you. This sob-story essay shouldn't be considered a model essay. One last note: I know MIT loves these kinds of blogs because they show how open-minded and tolerant MIT is, and how MIT gives everyone an equal shot at getting in. But the truth is that the rural south and other poor parts of the country are vastly under-represented. African Americans are still very under-represented. MIT has legacy preferences like other universities and admits lots of privileged students who would never have been admitted if they went to a normal public school.. During CPW, we were specifically told by Stu Schmill, the Director of Admissions, that no students are admitted for legacy, for being a world-class athlete, or because their grandma wanted to donate enough money to build a new research building. So, your last note really does not apply. Perhaps students in the rural south and other poor parts of the country have never even heard of MIT. I can say that this is true for our entire state - most people here haven't heard of MIT. This was not a sob story essay. No doubt there was not a single day that Cristen's family situation didn't effect her life. Did you read about her family situation? There's no way that the admission office could determine how she was treated by the staff and student body at her high school from basic information on the application. Her essay gave context to who she is and a lot of that was brought about by her family situation. I would think that many applicants write about a difficult time in their lives and how it changed them or made them the person they are today. The admission website tells you to let them see who you are and why you are that way. Cristen did exactly that! And what I meant by "exactly what the admissions office loves to see" is that she showed how the world she came from has shaped her dreams and aspirations. Finally, it was not just one essay that secured her admission to MIT. It was the whole package that she had to offer - her interview, recommendations, transcript, test scores, and additional essays. I say "thank you" to Cristen for sharing her essay with us. By doing so, she intended to give us an idea of what worked for her. She shared the process of writing her initial essay and a replacement essay. She should not be ridiculed for this. Thank you, Cristen, thank you!. You said: "African Americans are still very under-represented. I see just as many African American people here as I see Latinos, or Chicanos, for example. If you think that African Americans are underrepresented, go to New House. There's tons of them there. And to anyone trying to suggest that Cristen might have gotten in just because she grew up poor, you're so very wrong. I think her story is a very interesting one, and I can somewhat relate to it. She was trying to let the admissions officers know that she does whatever she can to reach her goals and that she has determination, which is something MIT students should have in general. You don't need to bitch at people who get full rides just because you're bitter about not getting one yourself. Don't make YOUR financial problems anyone else's problem.. Great action Requires alot of ally when you attend a high school that's new... I go to New Day Academy here in the Bronx,NY and my school is doing a terrible job with early applicants.... I am still waiting for an evaluation letter which I gave out in September...... I agree with this sentiment wholeheartedly. The essay is intended to give applicants a chance to show an aspect of their personality or their background that might not otherwise come through amidst the jungle of standardized test scores, transcripts, grades, and other recommendations that are part and parcel of any college application. I think Cristen did exactly that. Steve, I sort of see your point - but more importantly, I think you're missing Cristen's purpose in posting this essay in the first place. Nowhere do I get the impression that Cristen was trying to pass this off as an example of a perfect or "model" essay - it is simply one essay, out of the thousands that MIT sees over the course of the year. By posting her essay, I believe Cristen primarily wanted to help students realize that even intensely personal stories can sometimes have a place in an MIT application.. Stu Schmill works for MIT. He has to give the official version of the story. If they don't have a legacy preference, then why do they ask if your parents or relatives went to MIT on the application? I'd love to hear the answer. Remember how colleges used to insist that applying early decision didn't improve your chances yet ED applicants had double the admit rate at some colleges. I've spent plenty of time in New House. But I don't think it helps to post essays like this because we know applicants are going to read them and try to draw some lesson from it on how to improve their chances. That lesson is likely to be that trying to make it sound like you had a hard life improves your chances which is, but shouldn't be, true. Does whether or not her guidance counselor was a jerk have any relevance to whether she should have been admitted to MIT? I don't think so, so I don't think this essay is why she got in--but if it did help it was likely by playing on the readers emotions, not making a clear narrative about an obstacle and how it was overcome.. Sometimes, I just don't see things the same way they do. No, if you bled the same color blood as the bloggers you'd use your real name to post things on the internet, just like they do week in and week out. You are right about the trollish tendencies, though.. Steve: Again, you raise some good points. But I think it's rather unfair of you to obliquely suggest Cristen was trying to play on her readers' emotions with this essay. As the adage goes, you write what you know. Yes, perhaps Cristen could have talked less about her guidance counselor - but I think overall you might be taking this a little too seriously, considering it's been about three years since she was admitted. Moreover, at least in my opinion, the only way for people to overcome the obstacle of socioeconomic prejudice is to face the world with a positive attitude whenever possible. Among other things, Cristen wrote, "I believe that happiness and perseverance are enough for success. Where did you learn to write an essay like that?. Sorry, steve, but she HAS had a hard life. And she has as much right to talk about it as you do about your love of the violin or I do about my family in china or my friend does about the cancer she's overcome. So, what, should we put a gag order on her story because of a public sensitivity re affirmative action? How is that her responsibility? She has a right to her story as you do yours. And honestly, people would save themselves a lot of anxiety and getting all worked up and jealous about a perceived advantage someone might have had in college admissions if they could just take a minute and ask themselves, would I trade my life for hers?. Thanks for posting this essay. It's nice to see that the admissions office isn't looking for a storybook conclusion but rather insight into each applicant's personality and aspirations. If you don't like it, just don't read it... Don't make so much noise and talk all that NONSENSE!! No one ask for your opinion btw.... I always keep wondering if there must be something special in the essays like something that has changed your life but after reading this it doesn't seem so. Thanks for posting it.. I guess I just don't see what's so great about this essay. The last paragraph is strong. I actually learn something about Cristen. I don't buy it, guys. This blog post implicitly encourages applicants to add a "my life sucks" flair to their essays.. I have a few questions about the application that aren't at all relevant, but I didn't know where to ask them. First off, do honorary societies count as scholastic distinctions NHS, Society of Women Scholars, Spanish Honorary? Secondly, for the activities and summer activities sections, is it okay to leave the hours per week, weeks per year, and dates spaces blank if there were not specific schedules for these activities? I can relate to and sympathize with hard circumstances. However, I tend to agree with those who have problems with the message being conveyed by this essay. To me, it played directly to the worst of the social engineering role that college admissions departments have adopted for themselves. The financial problems confronting applicants is and was addressed through need blind financial aid. Academics are something else entirely. Coming out of Stuy hardly qualifies someone as academically disadvantaged. And, having had the benefit of a first class high school education, why should one Stuy grad have a leg up on another? And, what about the applicant who managed to succeed without the benefits afforded by Stuy? The rest is just mindless, politically motivated social engineering. Having said that, I greatly admire Cristen and her grandmother for working through a very difficult childhood.. Also, if Cristen did in fact "bend the need-blind rules," she bent them AGAINST herself, the point of need-blind rules is to keep colleges from denying poor students to keep their financial aid costs down. Also, Steve: "Applications to MIT aren't supposed to be about where you came from" when the essay prompt is exactly about that? Also, "MIT has legacy preferences like other universities" is just plain false. They ask you to check that box because the dean of admissions personally reads every legacy application that gets put in the deny pile. You're certainly entitled to your opinions, but those two are presented as fact, and they're just plain wrong.. I thought it was a nice essay. It was definately not what I was expecting, but it helped me to decide what to write in my essay because, I too, have a difficult home life and am very determined.. Wow, that was a really brave essay to write. I admire you for choosing to submit the one which you felt was truly you over the one that you had edited to death. Hopefully I'll be able to come up with an essay as courageously truthful as the one that you wrote.. I guess I'm one of only a few who missed the "beauty" of this essay? I could easily write paragraphs about this essay and my opinions on it, but all I'll say is that this essay and the litany of comments that have followed exemplify the problems colleges-- and students from all walks of life-- have with dealing with affirmative action in a way that is truly unbiased and fair to everyone who needs it.. Hey, bubbles, bear in mind it WAS pulled together in a few hours. Um, anyway, great essay Cristen!. There is no "right" or "wrong" MIT admissions essay. I don't get why some people are saying that this essay is not good. I mean, in case you haven't noticed, Cristen got into MIT! It worked for HER because it told HER story. One thing I do disagree on is that Cristen should not have posted her essay on this site. They'll want to model their essay after yours, and originality will be lost.. I'm sure the Admissions Office would appreciate if the bloggers would stop posting their essays on this site or anywhere else, for that matter.. I want your phone number. I'd have really appreciated seeing some sample essays before I applied. From real people that I knew something about.. Usually I write on MIT posts whenever something bad hits me, to let an automated total recall play in my mind that situation could've been more chaotic. Just look at the posts above. Only because our truths don't match,... Cristen, your story is so incredible. Thank you for sharing. My story is comparable to yours in some ways and this summer I had the realization that, 'Ok, these people around me go to Choate and drink Fiji water and have the best SAT Prep schools, etc. And I want that to be MIT. I foresee a flood of similar essays this year.... Does anyone know When we're gonna be given this year's essays prompts?. I also went to Stuy graduated last year and, while my situation wasn't nearly as hard, my parents are working class, and for a while I was obsessed with the bizarre race and class dynamics at Stuy and how so many didn't seem to notice them. Glad to hear you made it through--and whatever few things I miss about the school, I am SO glad to be done with the administration.. I'm a low-income student and know how you feel. Or how I will feel? If I had money I wouldn't be filling this out! I do not, however, know how it feels to go or be accepted to MIT. Hey, you never know. But thanks for posting this! I don't think it is a sob story. Very inspiring actually gave me some you very much. I like you very much Cris because you seem to be very honest and,most importantly,are not ashamed of your situation. May God bless you.. Cristen, I can't believe you got away with that essay. That's a blog, not an essay! But congrats for getting in MIT and still surviving. I did write something similar, but tossed it away because I wanted something less emotional and more factual. Other than that though, very nice, although not very informative. Entertaining to read though.. We are each entitled to our own views, including on whether this essay should have been posted, and I really see no point in all the arguments regarding that. In any case, I think it will be easier for admissions offices if they see a lot of similar essays because it will tell them about where they derived their inspiration from. In my opinion, Cristen has posted an honest post about herself and that is that. Anyone is free to disagree with me, but think about it... I feel like my essay is horrible after reading this essay. This one overshadows mine by a lot.. I'm so glad you posted this. I wrote mine in the same sort of "style" it was about my sister battling cancer , and was worried it would be frowned upon for a college essay, but this cheered me right up. I loved the essay, but I agree that there will be many similar essays this year. I have many of the same circumstances working against me. I actaully began to write a similar essay, but decided that it would sound a little familiar to the admissioins office. But I loved the essay, and I'm writing a new one that can hopefully be as inspiring and clever.. Its a wonderful essay. I'm sure everyone would love to read your other work..
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Link to PBHS website Email. Ultimate List of AP World History Tips. Doing well on the AP World History exam really relies on your ability to. By familiarizing yourself with trends in. Answer ALL of the question: Make sure your thesis addresses every single. Missing a single part can cost you significantly in the grading of. Lead your reader: Help your reader understand where you are going as you. Organize with strength in mind: When outlining the respective topics you. This means that when you are. For example, what evidence do you have to support a point of view? How does this relate back to the overall change or. Answering AP World History DBQ Tips.. Group with intent: One skill tested on the AP exam is your ability to. The idea of grouping. In order to group. When you groupвЂ”group to respond to the prompt. Do not group just to. The best analogy would be you have a few. You can have documents. This is an absolute must. Assess POV with SOAPSTONE: SOAPSTONE helps you answer the question of why. S: S represents Speaker or Source. You want to begin by asking yourself who. Think about the background of this source.. Where do they come from? What do they do? Are they male or female? How old are they? O: O stands for occasion. You want to ask yourself when the document was. You can also think. A: A represents for audience. Think about who this person wanted to share. What medium was the document originally delivered in? P: P stands for purpose. Ask again, why did this person create or say this. What is the main motive behind the document?.. S: S is for the subject of the document. This is where you see if you have. Think about if there are other documents or pieces of history that could. TONE: Tone poses the question of what the tone of the document is. Think about how the creator of the document says. Think about the connotations of certain words... Explicitly state your analysis of POV: Your reader is not psychic. Be sure to explicitly state something. If you do, ask yourself questions like where the data is coming. Assessing Maps: When you come across maps, look at the corners and center. Think about why the map may be oriented in a certain way. Think about how the map was createdвЂ”where did the. Think about who the map was intended for... Assessing Cultural Pieces: If you come across more artistic documents such. Be careful with blanket statements: Just because a certain point of view. When drawing from the documents, you need to explicitly state which. Do not fall into the trap of thinking just because. Be creative with introducing bias: Many students understand that they need. Refer back to the question: As you write your DBQ essay, make sure to. This is one way you. Leave yourself out of it: Do not refer to yourself when writing your DBQ. Stay grounded to the documents: All of your core arguments must be. Do not form the majority of your. Use what you learned in class instead. Start essay practice early: At least one month before the AP World History. Find a proctor whether that be a parent, peer, or. Familiarize yourself with the time limits: Part of the reason why we. Learn the rubric: If you have never looked at an AP World History grading. You must know the. Read the historical background: You know that little blurb at the beginning. Familiarize yourself with analyses of art: This one is optional, but a. Often times there will be. AP World History Multiple Choice Review Tips.. Identify key patterns: You know that saying, history repeats itself?. If you can learn the frequent patterns. Use common sense: The beauty of AP World History is when you understand the. Identify what exactly is being asked and then go. Think about how minorities have. Familiarize with AP-style questions: If AP World History is the first AP. Find a review source to. Figure out what you do not. Supplement practice with video lectures: A fast way to learn is to do. Crash Course has created an incredibly. Afterwards, go back and practice again. Practice makes perfect, especially. Strike out wrong answer choices: The second you can eliminate an answer. This way, when you review. World History multiple-choice questions to answer, the best thing to do is to. There is no guessing. Tips Submitted by AP World History Teachers.. Use high polymer erasers: When answering the multiple choice scantron. Outline, outline, outline: Take a few minutes to outline your essay based. Stay ahead of your reading and when in doubt, read again: You are. World History, so make sure you are responsible for some of it. Integrate video learning: A great way to really solidify your understanding. Keep a study log: Study for three hours for every hour of class you have. Practice with transparencies: Use transparencies or a white board to create. Read every word: Often times in AP World History many questions can be. Cover the entire time frame: When addressing the DBQ on continuity, make. Summarize then answer: I recommend to summarize what you know about each. Master writing a good thesis: In order to write a good thesis, you want to. Tackle DBQs with SAD and BAD: With the DBQ, think about the Summary,. Also consider the Bias and Additional Documents to. By the time you finish your essay, you have a much more clear idea of. Take a minute and revisit the prompt and try to. This thesis statement is much. Annotate: Textbook reading is essential for success in AP World History,. Be efficient in your reading and. Read, reduce, and reflect. To read вЂ” use sticky notes. Reduce вЂ” go back. Then reflect вЂ” why are the. How will they help you not just understand. What does this information show you? Knowing all the facts is darn near impossible. If you can use your. The themes are your friends. Form a study group: Everyone has different talents and areas of strength.. This is also a place where you can vent your. We are truly all in this. Look for the missing voice in DBQs: First, look for the missing voice. Go with your gut: When choosing an answer, it can be tempting to feel. If you studied properly, there is a reason. Remember your PIE: Writing a thesis is as easy as PIE: Period, Issue,. Doing well in AP World History comes down to recognizing patterns and. Students often think the key to AP. By learning the underlying patterns that are tested on the exam, for. Last Modified: Saturday, Aug. Content on this site is the responsibility of the Subscriber.
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